


Aster

by orphan_account



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Animal Abuse, Anxiety, F/F, How Do I Tag, M/M, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Recovery, Rika (Mystic Messenger) is Dead, Trans Male Character, animal abuse isn't graphic its just mentioned, i love v and he deserves to be happy, i might write a trans centric one eventually but idk, idk this is kind of its own little timeline, im so glad that's a tag, like its very breifly implied that yoosung isn't straight but, seven and yoosung are kind of hinted as dating.. or smth, this is pretty soft actually despite the tags, v after ending spoilers kind of??, v is trans in this but its only mentioned like.... once....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-10-26 12:19:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17745800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jihyun finds something while on a walk.





	Aster

**Author's Note:**

> Read please!!! So there's a part that's like a nightmare flashback and it's really short, but be safe because it deals with abuse so just skip the italicized portion if u want to avoid that! be safe!! it's like... really short.. because i didn't want to put anything wild in this fic it's meant 2 be a happier fic :)

 

Jihyun went for a walk. He did so often these days, since Rika passed away. She died by her own hand in Mint eye, that was a year ago. Saeran was rescued, and they tried to take him to a hospital. Saeyoung decided otherwise, and his brother was now staying with him. Jihyun visited them often, when time allowed, and offered any help he could to Saeran, who was still healing. Things were better, not the best, but better. Jihyun hadn’t known what to do after losing Rika, despite the things she did to him. He had started to feel like his life was worthless now, and the VFA (they changed the name after a while) was worried about him. Eventually, Jihyun moved in with Jumin. He couldn’t stand being at his place, he couldn’t sleep there. Bad memories haunted the walls of that place. He was going to buy his own place, until Jumin had offered his house. Jumin told him he was welcome to stay with him, that he was still family. Jumin… Jihyun didn’t deserve him. He’d been living with Jumin for six months now, it was oddly peaceful. Jihyun wasn’t used to peace still. He wasn’t sure what his next move would be, he wanted to pick up his paint brushes again but he was still working on gaining the courage to do so. He spent so much time giving himself to Rika, that he didn’t know who he was anymore. Jumin told him he was welcome to take as long as he needed. He couldn’t help but to feel like a burden on him, but Jumin would have none of that talk. Being alone all day while Jumin was at work left Jihyun alone with his thoughts often, and it got easily overwhelming. This is why he started going on walks often, to keep him occupied.

 

He thought about a lot of things when he went on these walks, sometimes he thought about art. He would stop, and take a picture of the scenery sometimes, thinking that when he got home he'd like to try and paint it. He was struggling to embrace his art, and he was surprised to find reassurance in the RFA, especially from Zen. Though it made sense, because Zen knew what it was like better than anyone else. He was getting better though, painting more frequently. For Christmas that year, Jumin even bought him a ton of art supplies, insisting that Jihyun should get back into what he loved. Jihyun remembered the watery tears that fell from his cheeks, because he didn’t know how to react to such a gift.

 

Sometimes, Jihyun thought about Rika on these walks. He thought about the relationship they had, the mistakes he made, the things she did. He carried that guilt like a weight on his chest. But he was slowly putting it down, trying to leave the past behind him. He had gotten surgery on his eyes, which were slowly getting better. He wore a pair of glasses, because his eyes weren’t completely healed yet. He had even started going to therapy. He was hesitant at first when Yoosung brought it up, but then everyone else agreed with him. They’re relationship became a lot better once Yoosung also started going to therapy, and he came to accept that Rika had manipulated him.

 

Other times he thought about the RFA, and that he hoped they were all doing well. He thought of other things too, his mom, his dad, Saeran, and plenty more. But today his walk was disrupted when he heard a whining noise. He stopped in his tracks, looking towards the noise, it came from the alley. There was a dog there, laying in the alley. He was filthy, and dangerously thin. One of his eyes were badly injured. Jihyun stepped closer, and the dog flinched away. Jihyun felt a pang of sadness for this beautiful dog.

 

“It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you,” he smiled, speaking gently. He reached out his hand, slowly, to not startle the animal. He placed his hand on the dogs head, petting him affectionately. The dog had no tag on him and Jihyun was sure he'd been left on his own for a long time, or abused. Probably both, judging by the dog's injured eye. He had long white and black fur, thought it was wet and muddy. It was cold outside, he couldn't just leave this dog out here by himself.

 

That's how he ended up coming back to Jumin's-- their house at 2 am with a dog.

 

“Jihyun why are you knocking, you-” he stopped mid sentence, looking at the giant dog sat next to Jihyun, “No.”

 

“Jumin, hear me out,” Jihyun began, he was met with a sigh.

 

“He's covered in mud,” Jumin stated.

 

“I'm going to clean him.”

 

“I have a cat.”

 

“Now we can have a dog as well.”

 

“Dogs are annoying.”

 

“He was in the cold.”

 

“So, take him to a pound.”

 

“Those places are awful.”

 

“Jihyun-”

 

“I'll take care of him, you won’t even have to acknowledge him.”

 

“Why?” Jumin asked suddenly.

 

“Because,” Jihyun paused, not sure how to explain it. Was it odd to relate to a dog? Seeing the animal reminded him of when he was with Rika. The eye injury added to his sympathy. When he was with Rika, he wanted nothing more than for someone to notice something was wrong, despite the fact that he had felt unworthy of someone else’s sympathy. Was he thinking too deeply about this? “He's like me.”

 

Jumin raised an eyebrow at that, looking at the dog. He seemed to be studying the dog carefully, a calculating look on his face. Finally, he softened slightly, sighing in defeat, “Fine, bring him in.”

 

He smiled brightly at his friend, and thought he had seen a hint of a blush on Jumin’s cheeks ad he moved so Jihyun could walk through with the dog. He carried him to the bathroom to clean him. The dog was huge, and didn’t like baths. He immediately started jumping around the bathroom, getting mud all over Jihyun and the bathroom. When he walked out of the bathroom covered in mud, Jumin sighed.

 

“I could use some help…”

 

“I thought you said I didn’t have to acknowledge him,” he answered.

 

“Did I say that? I don’t remember.” Jumin smirked, putting down the book he was reading. He followed behind Jihyun into the bathroom.

 

“Okay, you hold him down and I’ll scrub,” Jumin directed. Jihyun obeyed, holding the dog gently down so he wouldn't jump out of the tub while Jumin sprayed water on him and scrubbed him clean. By the time the dog was clean, Jumin and Jihyun's clothes were both covered in mud.

 

“I told you dogs were filthy.”

 

“He was left outside, of course he'd be dirty,” Jihyun explained.

 

“Remind me why I agreed to this.”

 

“Because you love me,” Jihyun teased. Jumin gave him a look, Jihyun couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He seemed to be considering something, and Jihyun wondered if he was thinking the same thing as him. They stared at each other for a minute, until the dog interrupted them by shaking water all over them. Jumin awkwardly moved to grab the towel and they dried the dog off together. Then they let him out of the bathroom, following behind him. “What do you think we should name him?” he asked.

 

Jumin hummed, “how about Max?” Jihyun made a face at that. “What’s wrong with Max? How about Alexander? Or Wolfgang?”

 

Jihyun started to tease him again, for his boring names. Until he looked at the dog in the light, and was reminded again of how thin he was. “He needs food, look at how skinny he is.” It made Jihyun sad, to see an animal hurt like this.

 

“He can have some leftover meat, tomorrow I'll have someone get him some actual dog food,” Jumin answered. “We’ll need to have him checked for any illnesses as well, and make sure he has shots. Maybe the vet can do something to help his eyes as well.” Jihyun grabbed something to eat out of the fridge, and placed it on a paper towel in front of the dog, who scarfed it down immediately. While he was eating, Elizabeth decided to finally emerge from Jumin's room. Her immediate reaction was to hiss at the dog, who howled in reply.  “Elizabeth doesn't like him.”

 

“She'll warm up to him,” Jihyun answered confidently.

 

“Will she though?” Jihyun laughed, pulling out his phone and snapping a picture of the dog. He opened the RFA chat to see Saeyoung, Saeran, and Zen all online.

 

**Jihyun: [pic]**

**Jihyun: we got a dog**

**Saeyoung: that's domestic**

**Jihyun: Saeyoung…**

**Zen: OMG**

**Zen: what's his name?!**

**Jihyun: can't think of one**

**Saeran: Jimothy**

**Saeyoung: lololol yeah name him jimothy**

**Saeran: jim for short lol**

**Saeyoung: what about othy**

**Zen: that's an awful name**

**Zen: what about Rusty?**

**Jihyun: …**

**Saeyoung: omg**

**Saeyoung: no**

**Saeyoung: that's an awful name**

**Jihyun: Haha**

**Saeyoung: Cedric Doggory**

**Saeran: I don't get it**

**Saeyoung: little bro has never seen harry potter...so sad**

**Saeran: we're twins you piece of shit**

**[Yoosung has entered the chat]**

**Yoosung: what about Marley?**

**Saeyoung: haven't u seen marley and me? u cant name a dog that**

**Yoosung: no… I haven't**

**Yoosung: i thought it was a funny movie?**

**Saeyoung: u should watch it lolol**

**Zen: ;; never watch that movie**

**Zen: Lucky?**

**Saeyoung: stop**

**Zen: what?**

**Saeyoung: ur names suck**

**Saeran: lol**

**Yoosung: Oscar?? Harley???**

**Jihyun: hm… Harley and Oscar are nice names.**

**Saeyoung: name him jimothy you coward**

**Saeyoung: Harley is just one letter different than Marley**

**Saeyoung: name him jumin han the third**

**Zen: lol**

**Zen: I think Oscar is a good name too**

**Saeyoung: Nick Furry**

**Yoosung: Bark ruffalo**

**Zen: Peter Barker**

**[Jumin has entered the chat]**

**Jumin: God**

**Saeyoung: 🙏**

**Saeran: name him Aster**

**Jihyun: that's a cute name!**

**Jumin: …**

**Jumin: Elizabeth is the only animal for me**

**Saeyoung: if it gets too much I'm happy to watch Elly for you**

**Jumin: No.**

**Jihyun: haha ^^**

**Saeyoung: but Saeran hasn't gotten to meet elly**

**Jumin: you will never get near Elly.**

**Jumin: Saeran can meet her at the next party.**

**Saeran: ^^**

**Saeyoung: </3**

**Zen: do not bring that demon to the next party**

**Yoosung: did you pick a name?**

**Jihyun: Hm…**

**Jihyun: I think Aster is good**

**Jumin: I can't believe I let you talk me into this.**

**Saeyoung: the married couple is fighting… F**

**Yoosung: F**

**Zen: F**

**Saeran: F**

**[Jumin Han has left the chat]**

**Zen: lolol**

**Jihyun: I should get going as well ^^ I'll let you guys meet Aster sometime**

**Jihyun: Goodnight!**

**[Jihyun has left the chat]**

 

“What did you mean earlier when you said… the dog is like you?” He asked.

 

“Well,” he began, caught off guard at the sudden question. “His eye is injured, I don't think he can see out of it. And he was all alone, and hurt.”

 

Jumin didn’t say anything for a while, he had a contemplative look, like he was trying too hard to figure out what the right thing to say was. Finally he said, “Well, you’re different in the sense that you’re not alone.”

 

“Yes but... Sometimes I still feel alone. Sometimes, I feel like everything bad is my fault, and I deserve to be hurt. Especially when I was with Rika,” Jumin tensed at the mention of her name, “I felt so alone when I was with Rika…”

 

“I’m sorry you felt that way… But you were never alone.” Jumin said, placing his hand on top of Jihyun's. Jihyun felt his face heat up, he knew he must be bright red right now. Jumin didn't mention it though, he continued, “I think Saeyoung and Saeran are finally starting to warm up. The other day I spoke to them in the chat, and they said they don't blame you anymore.”

 

“I read it…” Jihyun answered, “I appreciate it too, however I can't help but to think that I don't deserve their forgiveness.”

 

“I don't think it's about what we deserve,” Jumin said. “Things just are. But if it were, I think you deserve the world.” Jihyun's face must've gotten even redder at that, because Jumin chuckled. “I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just think I should speak my thoughts.”

 

“It's alright, I'm not uncomfortable,” Jihyun answered.

 

“I can’t help but to wish… That I could’ve done something more to help you when you were struggling.”

 

“Jumin…” he began, Jumin interrupted him.

 

“You’re the one person who means the much to me, and you mean the world to the VFA as well… Not being able to help you killed me. It felt like… The more I tried to hold onto you the more you were slipping away from me.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“I did not say that to make you feel bad, Jihyun. I just wished to express my emotions. You have nothing to apologize for, but it’s okay. If you want forgiveness, you already have it. I’m telling you this because you should know that we care about you. When you were in the hospital.. After Rika, Yoosung was a mess, worried to death about you. Saeyoung kept saying he should’ve protected you. Zen was nearing a mental breakdown and Jaehee was even more on edge than usual… They were all worried about you, because you’re our family. You only had to say the word, and every single member would have dropped everything to help you. Again, I don’t want you to feel bad for this, it isn’t your fault, you’re a victim. But, I want you to know how much everyone does care about you.”

 

“...Thank you,” Jihyun said, his voice trembled slightly. “It’s not like you to say something so sentimental…”

 

“I guess you bring out my sentimental side,” Jumin answered casually. “Are you tired?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then let's go to sleep.” Jumin, Elizabeth, Jihyun, and Aster went to Jumin's room. Elizabeth always slept at Jumin's feet. Tonight she hissed at Aster as he jumped on the bed beside Jihyun. Aster seemed scared of the cat, curling close to Jihyuns side.

 

“Elizabeth is scaring him.”

 

“She’s not used to dogs, I apologize.”

 

Jumin turned the lights off, and they were enveloped in darkness. They used to share a bed quite often when they spent the night at each other's house, so it wasn't unusual for them. But after everything that happened, it was hard to figure out where they stood. Jihyun wasn't sure what he was comfortable with, because it had been a long time since he'd shared a bed with anyone who wasn't Rika. So for the first few weeks Jihyun slept in the guestroom with the lights on. Jumin never mentioned the light thing, but it was because a part of him became terrified of the dark.

 

However, Jihyun still had nightmares that plagued his mind at night. He wasn’t good at asking for help, but one night Jumin happened to be awake when Jihyun had a nightmare. He had been up doing extra work, and heard Jihyun knock something over in his sleep and rushed in. Jihyun as a child tried to appear cool and collected like Jumin, but anxiety had always plagued him terribly. Jumin was good at calming him down, he always had been. So when Jihyun woke up panicking Jumin knew exactly what to do to help. The same was true for Jihyun, whenever Jumin was overwhelmed (which did happen often, despite his **kill all emotions** mantra) Jihyun knew what to do to help. After Jihyun calmed down, he spoke without thanking and asked Jumin to stay with him. “Of course,” he said cooly, sitting next to him on the bed with his back on the headboard. For a while it went like this, until Jumin suggested Jihyun slept in his bed with him. He agreed after some deliberation. It was comfortable, just like when they were children.

 

Right now, Jihyun laid next to Aster, still stroking his fur absentmindedly. He fell asleep to the sound of Jumin breathing next to him.

 

_Jihyun was in his old home, with Rika. She stood, glaring at him with tears streaming down her face. Jihyun was terrified. He felt his hands tremble slightly under her gaze._

 

_“I thought you loved me! But you dont, this was all a lie. You're leaving me. I thought you were my sun, I thought-_

 

_“Rika, I-” Her hand swung around and smacked him, hard across the face._

 

_“Prove that you love me, like you said.” She was in his face now, hitting him again. He fell back, on top of the couch._

 

_“Stop it, please,” he said, she ignored him. One hand was wrapped tightly around his throat, and the other was-_

 

Jihyun woke up with a gasp, it had been a month since the last time Rika plagued his dreams. Sometimes the nightmares were different, but they were usually about Rika, sometimes his mother was in them too, and sometimes the VFA were in them. He was drenched in sweat and he couldn't remember where he was. He was going to get in trouble, Rika was going to find out that he was here. She's on her way right now, he panicked. He could still feel her hands on him, he wanted to be clean. He was laying down, facing towards the window. If he moved or fought back, everything was over. He felt something wet on his arm, and flinched. When he looked down, he remembered Aster was in his arms, licking him affectionately. Jihyun ran his fingers through the dogs fur, hugging him to his chest tightly. He began coming down from his panic, and quickly dissolved into tears.

 

He didn't remember sobbing, but he must have woken Jumin up somehow with his crying. He felt a firm hand on his back and flinched, Aster instantly growled at him.

 

“He's already protective of you,” Jumin whispered. “You're here with me, Jihyun. Nobody's going to hurt you anymore.” He tried to stifle his tears, gasping quietly. “Can I hold you?”

 

“Please,” he replied, barely even a whisper. He wasn't sure if Jumin had even heard him. Maybe he hadn’t, it was better for him to not keep Jumin awake anyways. But then he felt two firm arms wrap around him. He was sandwiched between Jumin and Aster, it felt comforting. He rolled over to face Jumin, burying his face in the man's chest.

 

**[Jihyun has entered the chat]**

**Jaehee: good morning Jihyun!**

**Jihyun: good morning ^^**

**Jihyun: did you sleep well?**

**Jaehee: I did. Did you?**

**Jihyun: I slept alright :)**

**Jaehee: good! MC and I have dinner plans tonight**

**Jihyun: i hope you two have fun**

**Jaehee: thank you**

**Jaehee: I have a surprise planned for her**

**Jihyun: I’m sure she’ll love it**

**Jaehee: I hope so…**

**Jaehee: Saeyoung said the two of you were a married couple**

**Jaehee: I can't help but to agree that you act like one ^^**

**Jihyun: hm…**

**Jaehee: Sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable**

**Jihyun: I'm not uncomfortable ^^**

**[Yoosung has entered the chat]**

**Yoosung: I failed my pop quiz ;;**

**Jaehee: that's what happens when you only play video games**

**Yoosung: :(**

**Jihyun: you'll do better next time!**

**Jihyun: but Jaehee is right that you should focus on school more…**

**Yoosung: Yeah..;;;**

**Jihyun: Cheer up ^^**

**Yoosung: aaah you’re right I should, thank you.**

**Yoosung: How’s Aster,,,,, send a pic**

**Jihyun: [pic]**

**Yoosung: I Love Him**

**Jaehee: are you a dog person, Yoosung**

**Yoosung: I am!!**

**Jaehee: I like both… though I haven’t had good experience with cats;;**

**Jihyun: I’m sure Elizabeth loves you Jaehee**

**[Zen has entered the chat]**

**Zen: I entered at the worst time**

**Jihyun: Haha…**

**Zen: Jaehee you have a surprise planned 👀**

**Jihyun: I must admit I’m curious about it too…**

**Yoosung: spill the details**

**Jaehee: I can’t, MC might read this.**

**Yoosung: oh lol that’s fair**

**Zen: Guess we have to wait until tonight to find out then;;**

**[Saeyoung has entered the chat]**

**Saeyoung: Let’s go lesbians!**

**Yoosung: am i the only straight person in the vfa**

**Saeyoung: ur not straight lol**

**Yoosung:???**

**Saeyoung: only gay people play video games**

**Yoosung:....**

**[Yoosung has left the chat]**

**Saeyoung: uh**

**Saeyoung: whoops**

**[Saeyoung has left the chat]**

**Jaehee: What just happened..?**

**Jihyun: Umm…**

**Jihyun: I have no idea**

**Zen: me either;;**

**Jaehee: oh, I have to go, have good day you two ^^**

**Jihyun: thank you Jaehee^^ good luck with your surprise**

**Zen: yeah, good luck!!**

**Jaehee: thank you both**

**[Jaehee has left the chat]**

**Jihyun: how are you Hyun**

**Zen: I'm good.. I have rehearsal today**

**Jihyun: Good luck! I'm sure you'll do great**

**Zen: thank you**

**Zen: the makeup artist put eyeliner on me and i must admit it looks really good**

**Zen: [pic]**

**Jihyun: eyeliner suits you, Zen**

**Zen: I agree thanks**

**Zen: How are you doing with your art?**

**Jihyun: Hm… Better**

**Jihyun: I've been painting more and more often these days.**

**Zen: that's good!!! I'm happy for you for finally doing what you enjoy**

**Jihyun: Thank you…**

**Zen: ^^**

**Zen: oh i have to go**

**Zen: have a good day!! make sure to eat**

**Jihyun: you too^^**

**[Zen has left the chat]**

 

Jihyun set his phone back down, he stood up and walked into the kitchen. There was a bunch of dog stuff sitting on the table when he walked in. He smiled, grabbing the dog food bag. He fed Aster, and then made himself a sandwich. While he ate, he eyed the pencils and sketchbook sitting on the table. He knew he needed to take the dog out, but maybe afterwards he could draw something.

 

He took Aster for a walk, and during that walk he thought about Jumin. He wondered what the other members meant by the two of them acting like a married couple, and he wondered what Jumin thought about it. It wasn't that Jihyun didn't like Jumin, he definitely did.  He just didn't know how to properly love someone, and he didn't know if Jumin felt the same way. He thought he did, but what if he didn't really? Jihyun might just be making things up in his head. Besides, he didn't really deserve to love anyone. He was terrified that his love could hurt Jumin like it did Rika, despite the fact he was making efforts to heal.

 

Jumin was difficult to read sometimes, despite their closeness. Maybe Jumin said the things he said to make his friend feel better, not because he felt the same as Jihyun. Maybe he was straight… Well, nevermind. He knew Jumin wasn't straight because Jumin told him when they were in high school that he wasn't straight. Jihyun remembered admitting then that he wasn't either, he was bisexual. He felt insecure about being bi for a while because he was also trans, but Jumin reminded him they weren't related to each other, that it was fine to be both and always supported him. When his father reacted badly to Jihyun coming out as trans, Jumin was there for him. Jumin had always been there for him, just like a friend should. What if his feelings ruined that… Surely they wouldn't, right?

 

When he got back to Jumin's, Jihyun had revisited every aspect of their relationship, trying to determine whether Jumin may return his feelings. He sat down on the sofa, pulling his sketchbook to his lap. He thought about Jumin's face, and sketched the pencil along the paper. He didn't even hear Jumin walk in until he spoke.

 

“Are you drawing me?” Jihyun jumped and flushed immediately. “Sorry.”

 

“It's okay, umm… yes, do you want to see?” he asked.

 

“Only if you're comfortable showing me.”

 

Jihyun smiled, “Here.” he watched Jumin examine it, and couldn't shake the anxious feeling in his stomach. The fear that Jumin would criticize it, that it wasn't enough, that Jihyun wasn't enough.

 

“This is really beautiful, Jihyun.”

 

“Oh--Um, thank you…”

 

“I know I don't understand much about art. But I love this.”

 

I love you.

 

“Thank you,” he repeated.

 

“I'm going to go shower.”

 

“Okay,” Jihyun answered, Jumin handed him the sketchbook back and walked into the bathroom. Aster moved away from the couch, and Elizabeth started walking on Jihyuns lap. “What am I going to do, Elizabeth?” He asked the cat, as if she could hear or even knew what he was talking about.

 

**V, Saeran, Saeyoung, Yoosung, Zen**

 

**[Jaehee has entered the chat]**

**[MC has entered the chat]**

**Saeyoung: so……..**

**Jaehee: MC and I have news^^**

**Zen: what is it!!!**

**Yoosung: let her type;;**

**MC: Jaehee proposed!**

**Jaehee: MC said yes..!**

**Jihyun: congratulations, you two^^**

**Jaehee: thank you!!**

**Saeyoung: dare i say it**

**Saeran: don't say it**

**Saeyoung: gay rights!**

**Saeran: oh**

**Saeran: u can say it then lol**

**Saeyoung: what did u think i was gonna say??!?!?!**

**Saeran: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**Yoosung: I'm so happy for you!!!**

**Zen: Same here!!!!**

**Jaehee: thank you :)**

**Saeyoung: Can I be the flower girl :3**

**Jaehee: bold of you to assume you're invited**

**Saeyoung: </3**

**Jaehee: I'm kidding^^**

**Jaehee: but no you can't be the flower girl**

**Saeyoung: :/**

**Saeran: congratulations**

**Jaehee: thank you Saeran**

**MC: thank you everyone :)**

**Saeyoung: :) congrats**

**Jaehee: thank you^^**

**MC: thanks Saeyoung!**

**Saeyoung: it's officially illegal to be in the vfa if you're straight lol**

**Saeran: lolol**

 

Jumin came out of the shower wearing a white t shirt and soft pants. Jihyun had to resist the urge to call him adorable. “Jaehee proposed to MC.”

 

“Did she?”

 

“Yes, it’s in the chat,” Jihyun answered.

 

“That’s good for them,” Jumin said, “they make each other happy.”

 

“They do,” they fell into a comfortable silence after that, Jumin sat next to him with Elizabeth. Jihyun sat with his sketchbook still in hand, looking over at Jumin curiously. “What are you reading?”

 

“A book on ghosts.”

 

“Do you still believe in ghosts?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Jihyun laughed, moving closer to him. “Usually people like you don’t believe in them.”

 

“Hm.. Do you believe in them?”

 

“I don’t know, to be honest.”

 

“That’s what you said when we were kids too.”

 

“I don’t like the idea of people dying and then being stuck here,” Jihyun answered. He was right next to him now, their shoulders touching.

 

“Do you want me to read to you?” He asked. Jihyun nodded. He wasn’t very interested in those types of things, but he liked listening about them. Plus, he could listen to Jumin talk about anything. When they were kids they did this often, Jihyun was more of a poetic book reader. Jumin read lots of factual books and sometimes books like this, that were about cryptid things or supernatural things. Jihyun wasn’t the best reader, at least out loud, so he enjoyed to listen to Jumin reading instead.

 

The next day, they took Aster to the vet to get him checked up on. Jumin insisted, despite the fact that he claimed not to care about the dog, to take him to the best vet. So they went to the same place Jumin takes Elizabeth, and got him checked up.

 

They confirmed that the dog was a merle border collie, he had no diseases, and they gave him any shots he was missing. They said he seemed to be completely blind out of the one eye, the bright blue one. The other one was fine.

 

“It’s so sad that someone would do that to an animal.”

 

“It’s disgusting,” Jumin answered. “Anyone who hurts an animal like that deserves to go to prison.”

 

“You’re right,” Jihyun agreed, scratching Aster behind the ear affectionately. They were sat in the waiting room, waiting to get some additional papers from the vet. Jumin looked angry. “Are you alright?”

 

“I’m angry…” He admitted. “That someone would do this… To anyone.”

 

“Jumin…”

 

“We have your paperwork,” the vet interrupted them. They collected their paperwork and went home in silence. When they got home, they were surprised to see the Choi twins sitting on the soft with Elizabeth the third.

 

“How did you two get in here?”

 

“Elly opened the door,” Saeyoung said, cradling her in his arms. Jihyun laughed.

 

“Is that Aster?” Saeran asked. He nodded. Saeran kneeled in front of the dog, petting him.

“We just got back from the vet,” Jihyun said.

 

“Okay, but how did they get in here? I have the best security system in the world.” Jumin said again.

 

“Bold of you to assume any security system can stop me,” Saeyoung answered.

 

“I’m going to call security-”

 

“Jumin, let them stay for awhile.” Jihyun interrupted.

 

“Jihyun’s the cool dad!” Saeyoung announced, plopping down on the couch. “Let’s watch a movie!!”

 

“Like what?” Jihyun asked.

 

“Well, Saeran hasn’t seen, like, any popular movie. How about Star Wars?”

 

“Star Trek is better than Star Wars,” Jumin said.

 

Jihyun laughed, “I’m personally a Star Wars fan too.”

“Fine… We can watch Star Wars.” Saeyoung imitated a whipping sound, causing his brother to dissolve into laughter.

 

“What?” Jumin asked.

 

“Nothing! Wait!!!” Saeyoung said suddenly. “We should invite the rest of the VFA!”

 

“No we shouldn’t.”

 

“Yes we should!” Saeyoung ignored Jumin, pulling out his phone.

 

**Saeyoung: hello!**

**Saeyoung: once in a lifetime opportunity..!**

**Yoosung: ????**

**Saeyoung: Star Wars marathon at Jumin’s!!!!!!!!**

**Zen: we should watch one of my DVD’s instead~**

**Jaehee: I agree ^^**

**Jaehee: I’m not a big Star Wars fan**

**MC: omw**

**Jaehee: …**

**Jaehee: We’ll be there soon.**

**[MC has left the chat]**

**[Jaehee has left the chat]**

**Saeyoung: lololol jumin and jaehee are both whipped**

**Yoosung: oooh! I love Star Wars**

**Saeyoung: then come over!!!!!**

**Saeyoung: you too zen!!!**

**Zen: isn’t that gremling going to be there?**

**Saeyoung: oh, come on**

**Saeyoung: Jumin isn’t that bad**

**Zen: lololol I was talking about Elizabeth the third**

**Saeyoung: don’t worry I’ll keep Elly safe in my arms, far away from you**

**Saeyoung: Yoosung r u coming?**

**Yoosung: yeah!! Which one are u watching…?**

**Saeyoung: was gonna start with ep 1 lol**

**Yoosung: u should start with ep 4 instead;;**

**Yoosung: I want to watch the originals**

**Saeyoung: This just in…!**

**Saeyoung: we are playing episode 4 instead lol**

**Yoosung: lol see u soon**

**[Yoosung has left the chat]**

**Zen: lol and u called jumin and jaehee whipped**

**Saeyoung: Anyways~**

**Zen: I’m on my way, see u soon**

**[Zen has left the chat]**

They were sat in the following order; Saeyoung and Saeran were sitting together on the floor, Yoosung taking popcorn from Saeyoung and Saeyoung constantly getting fake offended and throwing it at him. Elly was curled on Saeyoung’s lap, despite Jumin’s protests. Jihyun started off sitting next to Jumin, but later in the movie Jihyun ended up with his head on Jumin’s lap, and Aster was laying on his stomach. Zen sat on the other couch with Yoosung, Jaehee, and MC.

 

Halfway into the movie, Saeyoung started throwing popcorn around the room, trying to land it in various places.

 

“Jihyun, open your mouth!” He did, Saeyoung launched a piece of popcorn across the room, landing it directly into his mouth. Yoosung started cheering, Zen laughed. Jaehee sighed deeply.

 

This was home. Jumin was here, running his fingers through Jihyun’s hair. Jaehee and MC were cuddled together on the couch, Yoosung and Zen were laughing at something, and Saeran and Saeyoung were sitting together like brothers. Jihyun could die right here, and be happy.

 

Eventually, it got late. Zen had rehearsal tomorrow, so he left. Jaehee and MC also left. Yoosung left because he had classes. The twins wanted to stay for another movie, which ended up in them both falling asleep on the floor. Jihyun brought blankets and draped them over the boys, not wanting to wake them up.

 

Before he could leave the room, Saeran spoke, “Jihyun…”

 

“Yes?” He turned around, looking at Saeran. He got up and walked to him. Jihyun was very confused, then Saeran wrapped his arms around Jihyun tightly. He wasn’t sure why he was hugging him, but he hugged back.

 

“Thank you… For looking out for my brother… And for helping me get away from Mint-eye.”

 

“It was my fault you were in Mint-eye in the first place, I’m sorry”

 

“No, it was Rika’s. I forgive you though, if that’s what you’re looking for. I blamed you for awhile, because that’s what Rika told me. But she was wrong,” he said firmly. “Do you know why I said you should name your dog Aster?”

 

“It’s a flower, you’ve always loved flowers.”

 

“That’s true… Do you know what it stands for?”

 

“No…”

 

“It’s patience and elegance, and a couple other things, depending. But, it reminds me of you and Jumin I think. Your relationship is built on patience. Jumin is… Elegant… However, Daisies remind me of you too, new beginnings. I think it’s time for your new beginning.”

 

“Saeran…”

 

“It’s okay, to move on, you deserve to move on. You deserve to be happy too, that’s what I think.”

 

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Saeran answered, his eyes shining brightly. “I just thought I should tell you.”

 

“I hope you move on too, Saeran.”

 

“I am… Slowly, Saeyoung is helping me. It’s getting better.”

 

“If you ever need anything… I know better than anyone what it was like… I’m always here for you Saeran.”

 

“Thanks,” he smiled.

 

* * *

 

 

Today was a bad day, he woke up after a particularly awful nightmare. His last one was over a week ago, he couldn’t stop shaking. Jumin held him tight, like he always did, but it wasn’t helping. He didn’t fall back asleep that night, neither did Jumin. But, Jumin had to go to work. Eventually, Jihyun was left alone with his thoughts. He felt selfish for not wanting to be alone right now, but there was no way he would burden Jumin with this.

 

He didn’t want to speak today. Everything he said felt weird, his voice was embarrassing, everyone was overwhelming him. He hid at Jumin’s place all day, didn’t leave to eat or walk like he usually did. But, this meant he was forced to be surrounded with his thoughts and memories. He was forced to think about Rika, and the awful things that happened. He was forced to remember that he was a bad bad person. He didn’t deserve to be happy, he didn’t deserve to even be alive. That’s what he thought. He thought about logging into the VFA chatroom, but he felt like he would only annoy everyone. That’s all he did, was annoy and burden the people around him.  

 

Aster kept bothering him, Jihyun realized that some dogs would notice if their owner was feeling bad. Aster and Jihyun were already close, Aster was protective, and could definitely tell something was wrong with his owner. Jihyun didn’t really interact with the dog though, he politely asked the housekeeper if they would take the dog out to use the restroom. He felt guilty, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He felt like an annoying burden a lot, all the time in fact. He could hide it fairly well, but days like today it shot up.

 

When Jumin came home from work, the first thing he asked was if Jihyun had eaten. “Yes.”

 

“You look like something’s bothering you. Are you sure you’ve eaten?”

 

“No,” he admitted.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Jumin… Am I a bad person? Am I a burden?”

“What's this about?” He sat down next to Jihyun, Aster started licking him, Jumin made a face.

“He likes you.” Jihyun said, smirking.

 

“Don’t avoid the question, Jihyun…” he smiled sadly at Jumin.

 

“I hurt Rika by loving her. What if all I do is hurt people? Maybe all I do is burden everyone.”

“What happened to Rika wasn't your fault, we've had this conversation before,” Jumin said. “You are not a burden, Jihyun.”

 

“I am though, everything I say is wrong. I’m wrong, I’m a bad person. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve to love anyone…. what if I love someone again? What if I hurt them?” He wouldn't look at Jumin, afraid that he'd put the pieces together. He could see the man putting pieces together in his brain. He didn’t say anything about that though.

 

“You are not a bad person, Jihyun. Listen to me,” Jihyun took his face in his hands. “It’s not about what we deserve sometimes. If it was, you would have the whole world. Because you deserve everything in it. But,” He paused, thinking. “You deserve this, okay? It’s okay for you to be happy, Jihyun.”

 

“I feel like I don’t. I feel like a monster.”

 

“Someday you’ll feel different… You’re not a monster.” Jumin said firmly.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Stop apologizing,” Jumin answered. “And, anyone you love should be patient enough to wait for you.” _patient._

 

“You.” Jihyun answered. “I love you… I think.” Jumin was silent for a minute, and Jihyun felt his anxiety building up. He quickly tried to salvage the situation, “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, Jumin. It was wrong of me to just bring that up, right now out of all times. Maybe-”

 

“Calm down,” Jumin responded. “I love you too.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah.” They were silent for awhile, as if neither of them knew what to say.

 

“Do you-- Umm… Want to date me…?”

 

“Do you?”

 

“Yes,” he answered, “Only if you want to, though.”

 

“Jihyun, I want to… You know, I’ve never had a real relationship.”

 

“I know… I guess we both need to go slow then.”

 

Loving Jumin was different in the best way. Jumin knew everything about Jihyun, he'd been there for his whole life. And Jihyun knew everything about Jumin. It was comfortable, there were no secrets between them anymore. They were straightforward with what they were okay with and what they weren't okay with. Jumin knew Jihyun was trans and didn't care. Jumin had already known, since they grew up together, and was comfortable with talking about it. Jumin also knew that Jihyun was scared and felt too much. Jihyun understood how Jumin struggled in feeling at all and was able to tell when he was upset better than anyone.

 

"Jihyun," Jumin yelled, "your dog took my shoe."

 

"Technically, he's your dog too." Jihyun answered, smiling fondly at the scene before him. Aster was stood on one side of the couch and Jumin was on the other side, trying to find a way to trick him. Jihyun walked up to Aster, who started wagging his tail and dropped the shoe in order to tackle him instead.

 

"I've been chasing him for ten minutes!" Jumin said exasperated. "I don't think he likes me."

 

"He wants you to play with him."

 

"I don't have time to play," he answered. Jihyun was on the floor with Aster on top of him, licking his face. He laughed, scratching the dog behind the ears fondly.

 

"You're not overworking yourself are you?" Jihyun said, frowning.

 

"It's fine, Jihyun." Jumin answered.

 

"Why don't you take a break? We can go out," he suggested.

 

"And cause a scandal?"

 

"What's scandalous about two bros getting dinner?" he teased. Jumin laughed, Jihyun felt his face heat up at the man's smile. Jumin was truly breathtaking. He didn’t laugh a lot around other people, and Jihyun pitied them. Because Jumin had the best laugh. "Well, we can order something instead."

 

"Okay, what do you want?"

 

"You pick."

 

Jumin was silent for a minute before saying, "You should pick."

 

"You don't know what you want, do you?"

 

"No." Jihyun chuckled, but the truth was he wasn't sure what he wanted to eat either. They settles and ordered some takeout.

 

**[Jumin Han has entered the chat]**

**[ZEN has left the chat]**

**Saeyoung: lololol**

**Jaehee Kang: I wish that were me**

**Jumin Han: Hello :3**

**Jumin Han: Jihyun and I just ordered food**

**Saeyoung: hm…**

**[Jihyun has entered the chat]**

**Jihyun: hello ^^**

**Jaehee: Hello, Jihyun.**

**Saeyoung: aren’t u two together rn lol**

**Jumin Han: Yes.**

**Jumin Han: I have news to share, if it's okay with you, Jihyun?**

**Saeyoung: ????!!!!!?!???**

**Jihyun: is this about…?**

**Jumin Han: yes.**

**Jihyun: Hm…**

**Jihyun: It's fine with me ^^**

**Saeyoung: what's the news???**

**Jumin Han: Well…**

**Saeyoung: ???!!!?!!?!?!??!?!**

**Saeyoung: don’t leave me in suspense;;**

**Jumin Han: Jihyun and I are dating.**

**Saeyoung: Jumin Han DOES is gay**

**Jihyun: ...?**

**Jaehee Kang: Congrats, you two ^^**

**Jumin Han: Thank you.**

**Jumin Han: I haven't told my father yet, so I must ask that this stays in the chatroom only.**

**Saeyoung: 15000 won and I'll consider it.**

**Jumin Han: How about 0 won and you keep your job at the intelligence agency ^^**

**Saeyoung: I WAS JOKING…!**

**Saeyoung: don't you trust me 😔**

**Saeyoung: anyways;;**

**Saeyoung: happy for u both lol**

**Jihyun: thank you, Saeyoung.**

**Jihyun: I know… It's been hard for you and Saeran**

**Saeyoung: its all good lol**

**Saeyoung: when u guys get married im the flower girl rite?**

**Jihyun: Haha, sure**

**Jumin Han: our food is here**

**Jumin Han: Farewell**

**Jihyun: hope you all eat well ^^**

**[Jumin Han has left the chat]**

**[Jihyun has left the chat]**

 

They ate their takeout and drank wine together. The view of Jumin’s balcony was truly remarkable, Jihyun pulled out his camera and took a photo of it. Jumin smiled at him. “Let me take a picture of you,” Jumin said, taking his camera.

 

“Photography isn’t your strong suit.”

 

“That’s true, but your face will make up for the photo quality.” Jihyun flushed. “Smile.”

 

He did, Jumin snapped a picture and showed it to Jihyun. “This looks awful. You shouldn’t move so much when taking a photo. Here, I’ll show you.” He took the camera and took a picture of Jumin, showing it to him.

 

Jumin tried to snap another photo of Jihyun, this one looked a lot better, less blurry. “Let’s try to take one together.” He said, pulling his phone out for a selfie instead. Jumin smiled, their faces together. Jihyun snapped the photo and showed it to him.

 

“You look so beautiful,” he said.

 

“Jumin…”

 

“It’s true,” they stood extremely close to each other now, their faces were only centimeters away. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

 

Jihyun laughed, it was like Jumin to ask before kissing him, “Yes.” Jumin put his hand on the back of Jihyun’s head, running it through his hair and pulling their lips to meet. It was a slow kiss and both of them tasted like wine.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I was in the middle of writing an angsty fic of them but then my brain was like "yeah but think about jihyun with a DOG" and i was like...... this needs 2 be written.... v is a dog person u can't change my mind.. I wrote this in like...? a few days,,,, i always get nervous about putting fics out so be nice please;;
> 
> u should follow my mystic messenger sideblog that i Just made like 3 days ago..! I hope to make more mysme friends bc i love V so much he means a lot to me;; softjihyunkim.tumblr.com
> 
> I got a little lazy at the end.... u can probably tell... but i didn't want to make it super long because i have school stuff im working on rn and I knew I wasn't gonna stop working on this until i finished it so i kinda tried to wrap it up nicely.
> 
> btw! this is how i imagine Aster looks!! 


End file.
